I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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