Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
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