You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
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I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
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Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.