and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize