we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
