Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
