hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
