so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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