spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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