sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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