Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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