I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize