i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize