You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
