gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
