You smell like stripper and shame
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
