if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I want her autograph on my taint
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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