honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
