I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
