1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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