you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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