you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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