I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
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threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
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are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just had sex on a roof
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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