ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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