We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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