hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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