Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
