I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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