He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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