Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
