Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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