im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
