I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
