Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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