New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
