we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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