in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
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