Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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