it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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