sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
