ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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