I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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