You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
