Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It's rum buckets o'clock
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
