Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Semen is not good for contacts.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
