don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
They took my balls.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
