More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'm having to shit out rocks
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
