What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
