Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
