There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
