A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
