we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
