Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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