hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
