is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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