the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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