carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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