DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I forget how to act sober
Randomize