It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
How does one acquire holy water?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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