Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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