Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
