Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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