I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize