I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
