saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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