Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
