ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
im drinking this country out of the recession.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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