I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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