I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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