One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
